literature

SoD: Born to Damnation - Book I: Survival

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Book I

Survival

That word remained within me as a constant reminder of my years in Menzoberranzan. Survival could become everything for a desperate being as I was. The very meaning of the word keeps us alive and well. Survival pushes a whole race, or even a union of the foulest and the most noble races, forward towards a common goal. But how much do we risk by merely living? Do we actually survive ourselves in this struggle? It seems such a pitiful concept now that I look back at my young bloodied hands, tainted with both blood of the innocent and the not so innocent that I killed; stained with the blood of the kin that I now fight for.
           
When I recall the face of my mother's distress . . . There is a faint echo of anger. Her pain is mine, until I let it go . . . why did I? The answer seems so trivial now . . . The agony exceeded my grasp. It was too heavy to carry. I had given it away, or did I drop it, thinking I was doing it for her? I had forgotten who I truly was when I allowed Master Assassin Elkantar to change the ways of my heart and my mind, and for what? All of it, I told myself, was for the sake of living and continuing day after day.

The drow survive. In the Underdark, the dark elves need Lolth's protection and guidance to thrive, but their “natural selection” has cost others. They are the strongest and therefore any act of evil that they commit is applauded if it furthers the selfish progress of the individual in all things material and of power. The dark elves understand evil, and because they discern it so very well, they have embraced it. But they have lost themselves to evil in order to outlast others, and to some extent, I cannot blame them, for I nearly also lost myself to the ways of he who lies and hates in order to breathe another day. I lost half my soul to Cyric in order to survive...

Survival.
         
Is it appropriate to help others in this fight for life? Or are we so selfish that we only care about our own survival; about our own lives and desires? Are we so narrow-minded about ourselves and our needs that we even kill others without a proper reason? That killing, harming, stealing from both the innocent and the not so innocent, becomes part of our lives in order to survive?

When does survival corrupts us, then? When we forget who we are, that's the answer. Perhaps it is not forgetfulness at all, but something we choose to ignore about ourselves. When we think we are without purpose and reason, we lose ourselves in the face of survival and become not much different than my dark cousins. We become creatures of whirling chaos and turmoil.

As long as I live I will not allow simple survival to take away who I am, to take away my beliefs, to take away the rest of my soul.
Beta Reader: :iconxullraezauviir: Thank you :) Your additions gave it the certain kick and gave me the confidence to post it.

Details:

Title: Shades of Divinity: Tales of the ashen god.
First Book: Born to Damnation
Description: Born to Damnation is a short book in the sequential short novels of Shades of Divinity that tell the story of Samuel "Grey" Kelfem and the people he meets and interacts with as the story moves along. Grey - as he prefers to call himself - is a former slave and a master assassin shaped by circumstances throughout his path. He has been marked with a destiny that no mortal should bear, and it haunts him with dreams and nightmares of lives - and deaths - that form themselves into memories of past incarnations. But what do they mean? What is he incarnating? And if he is representing something, would he accept the calling or would he break away from the supposed cycle? Is it all true, or is he falling into the rhythm of Cyric's insanity?

I'm doing this on my spare time - along with other projects I want to finish. It's mainly to have some fun and because some of my friends insisted that I should upload something. So here it goes :) Wish me luck.

The short book will be divided into two portions where we can see Grey's thoughts between them as is this particular piece. You can ignore it - the story will go on on the next chapters.

Samuel "Grey" Kelfem belongs to me.

CHAPTERS AVAILABLE:

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Zireael07's avatar
This is brilliant!